Listening for impact
It’s not often that we get really listened to.
We are all listening to ourselves and each other every day in different ways, and the quality of how we’re listening and being listened to affects us all.
We can be caught up in our thoughts and not really be listening to someone else. Or we are listening to someone to give them an answer, an opinion, or solve a problem but not truly being with them.
What I love about coaching is listening at a deep level. Actively listening to what a person is saying, as well as the in-between and underneath of what is not being said.
During my Co-Active Professional Coach certification and leadership program, I’ve been learning about the three levels of listening. Each level has its awareness and its impact. None of them is right or wrong; they are just more or less useful in different situations.
Level one
…when we are listening to our thoughts - who we are inside ourselves.
The focus is on yourself, so the impact of listening is on you. Level 1 is great when you are reflecting, exploring self-awareness, or being coached. It’s the place to understand yourself, your values, and your thinking, and see what’s getting in your way.
Level two
…when you listen to what people are saying for things.
You’re aware of the voice in your head, but you can look beyond it and focus on something else like solving a problem or giving an opinion. This level of listening works well when you’re a consultant, problem-solver, or with friends, feeding off each other. Its impact makes people feel seen and heard.
Level three
…being fully present with someone.
This type of listening goes beyond the first two levels and being with completely someone at the moment. Much like being in a state of flow, you are mindful and mindless at once. This level is really valuable as a coach during sessions, its impact becomes transformative. It is being with someone without agenda or bias.
It takes practice to listen at this level and it’s not needed all of the time, but I sometimes wonder what would happen if we all spent more time really listening to each other and not waiting to talk.
I'm curious about what kind of listening you do the most as a leader and how does it feel when others listen to you in the same way?
Curious about being heard?
If you’re interested in exploring your authentic leadership style let’s talk about how coaching can support you.
